book list lovin'

I just looked at my reading lists for next semester, and I could just cry. Partially out of fear (senior seminar: Old Testament research, anyone?), but mostly out of sheer joy because of a little class called Literature & the Sacramental Tradition. It's taught by the residential Greek Orthodox prof in my department.
Anyway, LOOK at this list: 

• Jayber Crow, Wendell Berry (wanted to read this for a long time)
• Compass of Affection, Scott Cairns
• Paradiso, Dante Alighieri (glad to devote more attention to it than I did in CivLit)
• Inheriting Paradise: Meditations on Gardening, Vigen Guroian
• The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
• The Orthodox Way, Kallistos Ware
• The Complete English Works, George Herbert (loved him in BritLit, been to his parish in England, can't wait to read more of his work)
• A Timbered Choir: The Sabbath Poems 1979-1997, Wendell Berry (read a few of these poems, totally hooked)
• Wit: A Play, Margaret Edson (AAAHHH SO EXCITED CAN'T WAIT) 

Basically, this is going to be the coolest semester ever. And it's only one of my classes. Being a senior is the best. 

what can happen in a year

In taking a look at my old posts from more than a year ago, I had forgotten that Zora Neale Hurston's quote had been on my mind at the turn into 2011. I'd also forgotten that C. S. Lewis poem about Addison's Walk.

It turns out, 2011 was a year of more questions. And the summer did not come true (at least, not in the way the Addison Walk bird insinuated).

2011, in brief, looked something like this:

• February: Learn that we were moving from my home (a 2-story + basement house) to a 1,000-sq ft apartment in another state. 
• April: Return for spring break to discover all my childhood memories for sale in basically any available room on the first floor. If we'd sold our books from K-5th grade for just $2 each, we would've had over $400. I remembered every single book.
• June-July: Take a summer chemistry course in which I was the only liberal arts major. After class, apartment-hunt all day. Homework all night. Find refuge in my home church and re-establishing friendships there.
• July: PACK. and also, paint the new apartment. 
• August: MOVING DAY. Live in an apartment full of unpacked boxes, with no furniture and a family that doesn't even get along when we have our own rooms. We fell apart. Return to school totally broken.
• September - December: Literary Criticism & Theory consumed my life. At least, any part of it that hadn't succumbed to deep depression. After 3 years of loss, my body gave out. Stopped eating, speaking, caring. Friends forced me to meals & counseling. Around December, I finally started to get better. 

2012, in short, has been a year of healing. If you'd told me a year ago that by this time I would have started to get better, feel happy again, and find a place that feels like home, I would've laughed at you. Or stared blankly past you and rolled back to stare at the wall. 

But God had other plans. He placed people & events in my life to pull me back up. He did not leave me alone. He is a God of healing, restoration, and love. 

Hopefully, in the next few weeks, I'll be able to process some of that and put it to words.

song of the summer:

"Aslan," Kendall Payne

Don't stop your crying on my account,

A frightening lion, no doubt. 

He's not safe, no, He's not safe--

Are you tempted now to run away? 

The King above all Kings is coming down. 

But He won't say the words you wish that He would;

Oh, He don't do the deeds you know that He could;

He won't think the thoughts you think that He should

But He is good...He is good. 

I know you're thirsty, the water is free--

But I should warn you, it costs everything.

Well, He's not fair, no, He's not fair

When He fixes what's beyond repair

And graces everyone that don't deserve. 

No one knows Him whom eyes never seen.

No, I don't know Him, but He knows me,

He knows me, He knows me. 

Lay down your layers, shed off your skin,

But without His incision, you can't enter in. 

He cuts deep, yeah, He cuts deep

When the risk is great & the talk is cheap,

But never leaves a wounded one behind.