0165-0180: exhaustion.

It has been a long week of firsts, but I am finally in a routine.  I know my favorite (and least favorite) times of the week, and can better prepare.  I have planned almost all my major projects, and I know I’ll survive the semester.

Right now, I just got back from the dishroom.  Yes, I work in a dishroom on campus.  The only cafeteria open on Labor Day.  The tray accumulator broke multiple times.  The conveyor also broke, so I spent most of the evening acting as a human conveyor, running back and forth with heavy stacks of trays and plates.  I cleaned every apparatus in that dishroom at the end of the night.

I returned to my dorm 45 minutes later than usual.  My fingers were swollen from absorbing so much water.  And now I can sympathize some with pregnant women, because my feet were swollen too. 

Tonight, I need to count my blessings.  More desperately than ever.  And so:

0165:  Courage needed for my creative nonfiction class.
0166:  Luther & Calvin.  Just a fun class, with a fun professor, and good friends.
0167:  Honest friends, who speak encouraging truth. 
0168:  American literature.  It’s going to be fun. :)
0169:  Laughter.  I laughed so much this week.
0170:  No 8 AMs!
0171:  Direction in choosing extracurriculars.
0172:  Time & determination to accomplish everything needed.
0173:  60-70 degree weather. Finally.
0174:  Warriors.  Worship in the dark.
0175:  Disney music.
0176:  Hallmates who make a bad night after work better.
0177:  “Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect?  It is God who justifies.  Who is to condemn?  Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.”
0178:  Oh, how He loves us so.
0179:  Now You are sitting on Your heavenly throne/Soon we will be coming home…
0180:  “With no taint of what we should now call self-approval, she will most innocently rejoice in the thing that God has made her to be, and the moment which heals her old inferiority complex for ever will also drown her pride…If God is satisfied with the work, the work may be satisfied with itself; ‘it is not for her to bandy compliments with her Sovereign.’” (C. S. Lewis)

0141-0164: round two.

This week has been so hectic, and I am left feeling pretty incoherent.  But at the end, here I am.  I’m not a freshman anymore.  Instead of a myriad of introductions and events, everything new and strange, I met the dear and familiar.  Friends tackled in me on the sidewalk, in Walmart, and I never knew when I would suddenly run into another friend.  These 2 days have been spent decorating, making a home, catching up, and laughing.

Tomorrow:  First classes.  The work begins. 

But on this Sunday evening, I count my blessings:

0141:  parents willing to help me move in
0142:  EVERYTHING fit in our little Taurus.
0143:  a safe drive up to school
0144:  a fun dinner with my parents
0145:  I didn’t forget anything!
0146:  showing my parents around campus the night before moving in
0147:  introducing my parents to my friends as we all moved in
0148:  my closet is big(ger than it was last year)
0149:  I have shelves on the wall!
0150:  smaller floor space, but more storage (maybe will make for a cleaner room?)
0151:  the finishing touches on this room that make it my home.
0152:  big, big hugs
0153:  deep belly laughs
0154:  love.  so, so, so much love.
0155:  rest.  soul-rest, heart-rest, body-rest.
0156:  first Sunday back at this church
0157:  a service that always brings me to the cross
0158:  communion at His table.
0159:  bubble blisters
0160:  these girls.  every one of them. 
0161:  the way each of them makes me laugh in a different way.  each brings me a different kind of joy.  each friendship is deep & beautiful.
0162:  sunshine.
0163:  hearing how God worked in & through a friend on the domestic mission field.  great encouragement.
0164:  Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free / For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him & pardon me…

0124 – 0140: summer’s end.

My summer is officially waning to a close.  The explosions in the living room & my bedroom look no better…but they will soon.  My day today will be spent sorting, cleaning, grouping, counting, double-checking – and all the while, listening for the exact moment the dryer stops, so I can start a new load of laundry immediately.  Funny how I "never have anything to wear", but I have SO much laundry! 

Despite all these things – the mess and the fight against procrastination – I have had some really good days.  Here’s the best of ‘em:

0124:  a day in the woods with my freshman roommate
0125:  meeting part of her extended family
0126:  who live in a garage converted to a 2-story home.  it’s beautiful & so cool. [they are building their own actual house.  by themselves.]
0127:  she’s right – Mennonites are amazing cooks. 
0128:  eating sun-warmed blackberries right off the vine (…they grow on vines, right?)
0129:  canoeing for the first time since the Canoeing Disaster of 2008.
0130:  not falling in this time.
0131:  sore muscles afterwards
0132:  learning to skip rocks
0133:  “There was once a Velveteen Rabbit, & in the beginning he was really splendid…”
0134:  “Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin…” 
0135:   “In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines lived twelve little girls in two straight lines…”
0136:  campfire for pudgy pies (so fun to say) & s’mores.
0137:  “What people or experiences in your life so far have been most formative?” – great dinner conversation
0138:  big, big hugs
0139:  my roommate.  all of her, & everything she is.  
0140:  Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee / & Thy beauty fills my soul, / for by Thy transforming power, /  Thou hast made me whole.

0108—123: summer nights & back to school

This is the week that I realized…I’m leaving for school soon.  I am looking forward to being back, to seeing my friends, getting to know my new roommate, taking challenging classes, and getting more involved in extracurriculars.  At the same time, it feels like I just got home.  And I will miss my family a lot in the weeks that I am away.
Even so, God is providing many blessings and happy memories in this time of packing and preparation:
0108:  God's peace & glory in a thunderstorm.
0109:  A few hours in a book store.
0110:  Self-control to not buy anything from the book store.
0111:  Recognizing when I am on the fast train to Burn Out
0112:  & subsequent peace about taking a lighter course load.
0113:  No damage during many thunderstorms.
0114:  A week of just mom & sister.
0115:  Dad's safe return.
0116:  Skyping with the my freshman roommate (& much laughter)

0117:  Provision to buy the clothes I need for school
0118:  Shopping is no longer a self-esteem-breaking ordeal. 
0119:  $180 coat for $38. 
0120:  An evening at the fair with my younger sister.
0121:  First funnel cake ever.  Sooo good.
0122:  A long talk walking up & down the carnival street.
0123:  Out of distress into jubilant psalm, Jesus, I come to Thee…

0096-0107: quiet.

This has been a fairly quiet week - no major struggles or ecstasies, nothing out of the ordinary - & I'm okay with that. As I enjoy these last peaceful weeks before packing & moving & everything school, I count these gifts:


0096:  mini roadtrips with my mom
0097:  the stereotypical father/daughter bonding experience known as The Parallel Parking Lesson

0098:  leaking tire & long search for air aside, the lesson went well. 

0099:  my first Chipotle burrito. {I know, I know} 

0100:  one hundred gifts counted - a heart opened to His simple mercies. 

0101:  discipline to maintain consistent Scripture reading

0102:  "As for me, I am poor & needy, but the Lord takes thought for me." {Psalm 40.17}

0103:  "The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.  And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you." {Psalm 9.9-10} 

0104:  good Sunday morning fellowship {not such a rarity, anymore}
0105:  Jesus sees, knows, & loves.
0106:  e. e. cummings & a new life-poem 

0107:  Oh, the Saviour pleads your pardon with his blood & the Spirit blows the embers of our hearts...

promises & praise: 0082-0095

This week started well.  But then struggle spiraled downward.  
Focus...gone. 
Motivation...none. 
Prayer...inarticulate, distracted.
Scripture reading...last priority.  Even when I knew it should be my first comfort.  
Guilt...off the charts.
My soul crawled to the Lord's Table on Sunday morning.

And because God is good, faithful to His promises, abounding in grace, mercy, and steadfast love, my soul left that Table singing a new song.  And so this week, I give thanks for...  

0082:  This post by Sarah Markley on forgiveness.  ("He’d rather us hug one another, but when we can’t just bring ourselves to throw our arms around the neck of someone who has wounded us in our soul, He is there. We can fall into Him and be reconciled to one another BECAUSE of Him".  Amen & amen.)

0083:  pictures of my new baby nephew.

0084:  my younger (now taller) sister.  and her infectious giggle.

0085:  cool breeze and 80 degrees.  finally. 

0086.  a porch swing on which to enjoy #85. 

0087:  after-dark driving with my dad.

0088:  "Is anyone among you in trouble?  He should pray."  (even if all I can pray is "Father...hold me.")

0089:  "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

0090:  "...the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials..."

0091:  "The word of the LORD is upright, and all His work is done in faithfulness."

0092:  "The earth is full of the steadfast love of the LORD."

0093:  "He spoke, and it came to be; He commanded, and it stood firm."

0094: "Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love, that He may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine."  

0095:  "My sin -- not in part, but the whole -- is nailed to the cross, & I bear it no more.  Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!" 

rain, reading, & red hair: 0065-0081

A long, tiring week - I can barely remember past Saturday.  I really should keep this list during the week, instead of making it over the weekend.

Even so, God is good.  Despite my forgetfulness.


0065:  Cooler days after a heat wave.

0066:  Good conversation after Bible study.

0067:  Making breakfast with my soul sisters.

0068:  Solemn conversation to hysterical laughter in an instant.

0069:  Different outlets of creativity - two dancers, a musician, and a writer.

0070:  Chocolate chip pancakes.

0071:  Naps - lots of them, and deep and long.

0072:  Thunderstorms that come & go in a violent flash.

0073:  No electricity - a night of no radio, no TV, no internet.  Just talking and books.

0074:  Finishing Middlemarch.  A bucket list item completed.  [highly recommend, by the way - I loved it!]

0075:  "The world is hungry for positive art." - an encouraging word from a wise lady.

0076:  The electricity came on this morning.  Hello, showers and food other than peanut butter.

0077:  Coffee and reading by the Potomac River.

0078:  A new baby nephew - Andrew Joseph.

0079:  A safe, quick delivery with no complications.

0080:  Hearing my brother's proud, tired, new-father voice.

0081:  My nephew's curly red hair!

0052-0064: journey mercies and wedding bells

I never really understood the concept of “journey mercies” or the comfort in prayer for safe travels…until I took a road trip by myself.

0052: The semitruck miraculously saw us and did not run us into the wall on the George Washington Bridge. Accident averted.

0053: We never got hopelessly lost. Not even when Google directions were wrong and our maps were unhelpful. Not even when we missed a turn in Friday rush-hour New York City. Not even when we were driving around middle-of-nowhere New Hampshire.

0054: We never ran out of gas (…though I occasionally worried when we were stuck in traffic).

0055: Fresh fruit, soft-serve ice cream, and a friendly home at the end of a long driving day.

0056: The gracious hospitality of our friend’s family (especially their mother. Especially during a busy weekend.)

0057: Relaxing by the water.

0058: Driving past grave yards

0059: Blasting The Sound of Music cassette. Old School, I know.

0060: Patience and endurance for the long drive home. Even when we thought we would lose our minds from looking at so much traffic-filled highway.

0061-64: Her infectious joy. The way he treasures her. A wedding celebration that constantly proclaimed the Gospel and anticipated the wedding feast we will share in heaven with our faithful Groom. The spiritual reality that this image points me towards:

Lord of all, to Thee we raise this, our hymn of grateful praise.

one thousand gifts 1-14
one thousand gifts 14-30
one thousand gifts 31-51